"Work It ! Work it!"

This wasn't the first time I had shot for Amway.

As a regular client the shoots meant big pay cheques.

My memories of the first shoot I did for Amway are very funny indeed.  I was  young and naive,

I had just moved from my home town too Sydney, "my eyes were opening to the big world"... as they say.

 On location on a back street in Surrey Hills, near Kings Cross we we're shooting a selection of beautiful scarves, myself and the crew were working on one corner . On the other corner was a suitably dolled up  gentlemen who appeared to be "working it" just as hard.

It's funny to think back,  in my shock, I couldn't help but marvel at his stream of clients driving by and stopping around the corner  and was it possible that in that hour, he may have just made more money then me?.

Hair & Make up test for Fashion Week.

                    images testing hair and make up ideas for Fashion Week 97'

Kissing Girls.

The conundrum of short  hair.

 My look had changed, she's not the "all Aussie surfer chick" any more, the fresh faced Grace Kelly look a-like. I gained new clients and lost some old favourites. Some in the industry just assumed I liked kissing girls, I wasn't to worried what most thought,  nor was I worried about the change in clients. 

I had cut my hair for many reasons, the catalyst of course was  from the bad treatment of too many hair dressing jobs, my hair was starting to fall out. 

Some fellow models commented it was very brave and others followed suit.

I am always one to embrace change positively and I figured, "Go for it, the waif look is in and yeah, I do like kissing girls."

.

Oh you pretty things!

Test shoot 96'.

So French, So Chic.

The Ghost Who Walks.

 

Whilst shooting for a fashion catalogue I received the news.

I was stuck on a remote island off the coast of Bali. At approximately 4 am I answered the phone it was mum.

My brother had passed away in his sleep.

I spent the morning trying to get flights out, it wasn't possible I had to wait 2 days. My roommate was distraught at this news, as I comforted her I prepared myself to write his eulogy.

It was a dream shoot, a glorious week of sunrise and sunset locations, meeting and bartering with the locals and visiting villages throughout the Island. Nothing was more vivid than this moment.

That morning I took myself down to the beach front where they had stored all their beautiful hand made and painted fishing boats, I sat and wrote my fondest memories of our friendship and his impact on my  life. A young local boy came and sat with me, as I cried he sang and as he sang I wrote.

I never received the images from the shoot in Bali, I didn't even think to ask for them. However I did have token images I had taken of myself and the crew. I have kept them for my personal records.

The images here were taken on a go-see when I had returned from Paddy's funeral.

Photographer unknown, as were the weeks that followed.

 

Chameleon.

Chameleon Cush does Edie Sedgwick 60's inspired shoot New Zealand 96'

There was a time in the modeling industry when it requires one to be like a shape shifter,

an actress, a chameleon.

Photographer unknown

Hair & make up unknown

Bliss.

"The Gentle Art of Making Enemies....."

It's simple.

I wish you were here.

Photographer unknown

Testing testing 1....2....3...4

Comp card for my agent in Germany

She's in the newspaper...again!

My brother still very sick, entered me in a competition back home. I flew up over a couple of weekends and proceeded to WIN! All expenses paid 2 x First class tickets to Hong Kong, London and Paris. The out fit I borrowed from a friends store, the hat I purchased and returned the next day.

I remember running up to the hospital room to tell my brother I had won, sadly I new he wouldn't be coming with me.

 Fashion spread Weekly News.

What's all the fuss about?

I remember seeing the above image stuck on my dealers wall, the days were all turning into one long party.

I woke one day in my new apartment with 3 gorgeous girls in my bed. 

We had been partying for weeks now and my friends hadn't even bothered to go home anymore to change, they would wear anything I owed. In between castings and modelling gigs we would get high, play card games, drink VB tallies and run around the clubs and cafes at all hours .... I realised I needed some time out when I couldn't find myself a clean pair of socks , but the fun didn't stop there....

images © Sydney Morning Herald.

Fashion Week.

Rosemount Australian Fashion week began in 1996, I was chosen for the very first Collette Dinnigan show.

Sitting on the floor back stage, hair teased and tortured into a crazy sculpture on top of our heads, sharing a violet crumble chocolate bar with super babe Annalese Schubert and clowning around with the gorgeous Sarah O'Hare, waiting excitedly for the show to begin. The buzz in the air is becoming clausterfobic. The feeling of excitement amongst the models is infectious, whilst the dressers , show producers, photographers and hair and make up artists all buzz around you.

Suddenly there is a  hush from audience beyond the walls that separate front and backstage, you see the  lights dim , then BAM! the music explodes and the show commences. The models are ushered like cattle for the slaughter one by one in a line ready to hit the stage, instructions are firmly relayed to you in a low voice from the shows coordinator  "look straight ahead, no hands on hips, walk down the right back up the left...." this is repeated to each girl as we are sent into the void of bright lights on the catwalk. As the music pulses you are, within an instant, strutting out into a sea of faces, some you recognise most are a blur, with-in a couple of seconds you hit the mark at the end of the runway, stop, pose, heart pounding in your ears , flash lights in your eyes, turn and strut off back the way you came. Once backstage again you are rushed to your dresser who is literally  pulling the last garments off you and putting the next ones on, you have no time to think, no privacy and all this is happening whilst someone is yelling at you "your supposed to be back on!" Second time out goes as quickly as the first however this time you are a little more prepared. so with a wink and a slight cheeky grin you pose for the cameras at the end of the runway, turn and before you know it your job is done and the show is over.

Left with a feeling of "Umm....what just happened ??" After the 3 hour hair and make up preparations, dealing with stressed out dressers, show organisers and the ramble of photographers fighting to sneak back stage I drive home feeling a slight anti-climax. The peak must have happened whilst I was on the catwalk and I didn't even get a chance to relish it.

Still I felt privileged to be one of the chosen few in Collette Dinnigan's show at Australia's first Rosemount Fashion Week.

Backstage RAFW 96'

Bulls on Parade.

Whilst shooting the Bra's n Things Catalogue for the nationwide letter box drop, the photographers assistant came up to me looking curious...."I think I saw you at The Big Day Out (music festival) but,  I wasn't sure..... ?"

"If I was wearing doc's, black top and Flannel shorts going nuts to Rage Against the Machine.....Yep! that was me..."

"...yeah... I thought so...." he walked away shaking his head laughing.

she said/ he said.

One afternoon spent standing precariously on a table top, wearing boots two sizes too large for me, being photographed by an asian chick, I believe who was in the process of her sex change.

The shoot was done in a spare room in her apartment which all ran very smoothly, until her boyfriend came home, acted incredibly uncomfortable, embarrassed, then annoyed ( in that order) he couldn't wait for me to get out of there... 

Bring it!

Berlie's new lingerie campaign had me sporting an interesting selection of props.

"It's better to burn out than to fade away."

Sitting, in shock, in the car parked on the side of a busy high way, I have just finisehd my fitting for the new Brian Rochford catalogue and instore posters campaign... Courtney Love is reading out the suicide letter from Kurt Cobian over the radio . The man has shoot himself in head!!!

 "It's better to burn out than to fade away." - Kurt Cobain 

Me and the boys.

Canterbury Campaign photography by Ian Golding

Courage.

I remember  a women coming up to me in the perfume section of a department store, 

"I liked your hair better blonde!", she had snapped at me.

I had no idea who she was, I could tell her son who was with her was greatly embarrassed.

I guess it was all part of the journey, I had no idea it would up-set people, but, I also liked the idea that it did.

It's hard to change people's conceptions, especially when they're so used to you looking/being one way. However, change is the only constant in life, so I had decided to re- invent myself.

Most people where confused by my choices, It was more then just being young and bored, It was part of a metamorphosis and I was shedding my skin.